So, I’ve mentioned this briefly in one of my Year of the Mosh posts, but I’m bald. I began losing my hair around my early twenties and decided to shave my head in my mid-twenties. Since that decision, I’ve pretty much kept a buzz cut. I’m beginning to debate if I want to go full cue ball and get my head blade-shaved. To be honest, I’m leaning toward doing it. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The Thinning Begins
Losing my hair was hands down one of the most upsetting things that has ever happened to me. I’d have a few strands of hair fall out here and there and I began to notice my hairline receding. But I didn’t really worry that much. I thought for a while it was normal and maybe some of it would come back. After college, I began growing my hair as long as I could. However, I slowly began to notice my hair thinning, especially up top. If I needed to tie my hair back, I’d notice it much more. I knew I’d be bald eventually but not this early in life.
Eventually, the feeling of being bald started to eat away at me. What made this worse is that baldness runs in my family, so there was little I could do. I resolved to see a dermatologist and go over my options. For whoever hasn’t experienced hair loss, you generally have a few options in treating it. (Obligatory: I’m not a doctor, seek professional help if needed). In short, you can take medication, get a hair transplant, get a toupee, or bite the bullet.
That last one was out of the question for me – at least for the time being. I didn’t want to give up on my hair yet. So, with my dermatologist, I went on medication – namely, Minoxidil, or Rogaine as it’s better known. Rogaine works by changing two hair cycles in your head to limit shedding and promote growth. It’s a foam that you massage into your head. It’s something that you can get over the counter at like CVS and doesn’t cost much. The other drug had too many potential side effects to seem worth it to me. The other options available just didn’t seem viable to me. Hair transplants are really expensive (I’ve seen an average of about $10,000). And I had enough hair remaining that a toupee just wasn’t worth it.
My journey against being bald began and I went on Minoxidil. I was aware that I would effectively be on this for life. I also knew that results were not guaranteed and would take about 4-6 months to show. But if it meant I could fight being bald, I gave it a shot. I used Minoxidil regularly for five months and saw nothing. I was dejected and lacked the confidence that a sixth month would do the trick. All that effort and nothing; It really messed with me. After five months, I decided that the best thing would be to bite the bullet and shave my head.
Less of a Metalhead?
Throughout my hair loss, I had a sort of mini-identity crisis. The thought of being bald made me feel like less of a metalhead. Metalheads have a clear aesthetic – long hair is a distinctive aspect of that. Long hair, along with band shirts and vests, has been a staple in metal since its inception. Being bald and a metalhead just didn’t seem compatible to me. At previous shows I’d been to, I almost never saw a bald metalhead. In hindsight, I’m sure they were there and I simply didn’t notice. But, it was very disheartening when I initially began to worry about my hair loss. To some degree, I thought I’d feel like an outcast amongst the wider metal community.
As I kept using Minoxidil, I looked for reassurance somehow. About 2-3 months in, I remember looking up bald metalheads. I thought that if there were other bald metalheads, I would feel less alone going through all this. And that proved to be one of the best things I could have done. Guys like Rob Halford and Devin Townsend were my heroes during that time of my life. Eventually, I found and/or remembered other bald metalheads, like Howard Jones of Killswitch Engage, John Gallagher of Dying Fetus, and Scott Ian of Anthrax. I finally felt like I wasn’t alone as a bald metalhead. And the more bald metalheads I found, the more happy I felt.
When I finally decided to shave my head, I felt confident that I wasn’t alone and would ultimately be fine. The worry of not fitting in anymore seemed to dissipate the more I found other bald metalheads. So, when I actually did shave my head, I felt happy. It has taken some time to get used to, but I came out believing I made the right decision. And I’ve been shaving my own head ever since.
How I’ve Handled Being Bald
Since shaving my head for the first time, I did have some challenges. Going to shows was nerve-wracking initially. But the more shows I went to the more comfortable I got. It took a while to build my confidence back up, but it happened gradually. Seeing bald metalheads on stage in person was a big confidence boost. I still recall seeing Narcotic Wasteland and feeling a sense of relief when one of its members was bald. The same happened when I saw Gutted Christ with Vader in Richmond. Nowadays, I’m noticing more bald people in the crowd at shows too, so I feel a bit more normal.
Headbanging has become challenging though. Yeah, I know it’s headbanging, not hair-banging, but you don’t notice a difference until you don’t have any hair. Headbanging as a bald dude takes a lot more energy and you feel it in your neck. My neck gets sore much quicker since I don’t have hair. As a result, I don’t headbang as often as shows. If I do, then it’s usually in short bursts for a few riffs. Part of this might be age (I’m in my mid-twenties when I write this). But I find that it’s rarely if ever just one factor that impacts things.
One other thing I’ve noticed is the importance of beards. I think people can generally agree that bald is better than balding. So when I initially began looking into hair loss solutions, many stressed growing a beard. Many stated that having a beard while bald looks much better than being bald and clean-shaven. Honestly, I couldn’t agree more with them. In my opinion, there are only two people (Devin Townsend and Patrick Stewart) that can pull off the bald and clean-shaven look. I already had a beard – a chinstrap beard – prior to losing my hair, so I was already off to a good start.
What I’ve noticed since going bald is that I want to change my beard. I’ve had my chinstrap beard for about 4-5 years, well before I started addressing my hair loss. That kind of beard, I think, works better when you have hair on top. I’ve grown to dislike how my beard looks with me being bald. When I have that beard as a now bald dude, it doesn’t always look that great. The challenge I’ve found is that I’m not sure what beard exactly works for my bald head. What I’ve seen is many bald metalheads grow long full beards. I’ve been on the fence about that. What I don’t want to do is commit to growing one kind of beard only to not like it and have to start almost all over again. The uncertainty can be overwhelming at points.
Bald or Not, We’re All Metalheads Here
Throughout losing my hair, I worried about being a metalhead. And in the end, I realized just how pointless worrying about it kinda was. Yeah, losing your hair takes a toll on you. But, I’m a metalhead, and many metalheads are very welcoming. While there is a clear aesthetic, metalheads don’t always care much for what you look like. In the end (to quote Iron Maiden), we’re blood brothers. We go to shows to listen to awesome music and mosh. We just want to enjoy what we care about.
It’s taken me quite a bit to fully appreciate being a bald metalhead. But I’ve gotten to a point where I can be confident in myself once again as a metalhead. And while I still have some work ahead of me, I feel ready to take it on. And what’s better is that I’ve noticed more bald metalheads in the crowd at shows I go to. Now I go to shows feeling more comfortable being bald as a metalhead. Those worries aren’t there anymore. And quite honestly, it’s one of the best feelings in the world.